I am terrified that I am getting so excited about this and I don't know how I am going to handle the news if I don't end up getting pregnant this time around. On the one hand I want to be positive but I also want to watch out for my mental health. The thing is, how do you not get your hope up? That's the shitty part about infertility - it's a mental fuck! Excuse my language, I don't normally talk this way but there really is no other way to put it. Not only is it physically insane what your body goes through, and emotionally draining because of all the crazy hormones running a muck in your head, but you begin to feel like it has to work or else what was the point of it all?!?! Surely all of the hard work I've gone through must be for something, must result in something, right? I don't even know how I am going to get through tomorrow, let alone sleep tomorrow night!
Well that's about it for now. I'm sure I will update you tomorrow on how stir crazy I will be feeling!
Honestly I don't think it is possible to focus on anything else. I find that no matter what I constantly am trying to get info on anything. Anyways I hope your transfer goes smoothly and you get your bfp
ReplyDelete