And The Results Are...

Let me start out this post by saying that I have taken quite a few pregnancy tests in my life (oddly enough I think I took more BEFORE Mike and I were married!) and always felt sick to my stomach. It's humorous to look back and think how badly I wanted it to be negative. I would pray and promise God that I would start going to church again, if only I could pretty pretty please not be pregnant this time. And now for the last 2 years it has been the total opposite. I still feel sick to my stomach but with excitement and fingers crossed that I will be pregnant. I even still pray to God to pretty pretty please let there be two lines on the test! But the absolute weirdest part to this all is that since we have been knowingly dealing with infertility, I haven't taken a single pregnancy test. As I've mentioned in my blog before I have relied on the blood work beta tests because I just couldn't deal with seeing anymore negatives.

That all changed today...

Mike and I (OK, maybe just I) made the decision to test this morning before going in for my official beta test. As you all know from previous posts I really struggled with this decision. Ultimately, though, I decided that I wanted to be able to prepare myself for what is truly one of the worst phone calls ever! I wanted to be able to tell the nurses that I didn't have high hopes etc... So before going to bed last night I put a Crinone Gel packet on the bathroom counter (as is my usual routine so that I don't forget to use it first thing in the morning) as well as my last First Response Early Response test.

**As a side note, I also have several Clear Blue Digital tests (ya know, the kind that actually say "Pregnant" instead of just showing you two lines) but I have read that they aren't as sensitive in picking up early levels of HCG. So I decided to use the last Early Response test and then if it AND the beta came back positive I would use the Clear Blue test so I that I could pretty confidently see the word pregnant.

We all know that I am still on those darn PIO shots which have been making me crazy thirsty and then I end up waking up to pee a million times in the night as a result of all the water I drink all day long. Surprisingly I didn't wake up once in the night. But I did finally wake up at 5:20am and was bursting to pee! Mike and I had originally decided to set our alarm to go off at 6:30am in order to get to Dr. Lee's office in time for our appointment so I knew that I couldn't go pee at this point unless I took the test. Knowing how cranky Mike gets if you wake him up early (and if I'm being honest, out of plain terror of getting a negative result) I decided to try to hold it and go back to sleep. That obviously wasn't going to happen so I just laid there until about 5:50am at which point I woke up Mike and told him my dilemma. He told me that I should just do it already. So I got up, turned on the light, and peed on a stick for the first time in what feels like forever! I then capped the test, turned it upside down, set it on my side table and crawled back in bed with Mike. We literally laid there and held each other for a few minutes while we waited to see the results. After a couple minutes I said to Mike "No matter how it turns out we're going to be OK, right?". He gave me a kiss and said "Absolutely". So with trembling hands I sat up and looked at the test.

AND I SAW TWO LINES!!

I jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom to see in better light. The second line was faint but it was definitely there. I was shaking and that's when I realized that I hadn't told Mike what the result was. He was looking at me anxiously and I said "I think it's positive, I think I'm pregnant"! He got out of bed and came to look at the test and agreed with me, there most definitely was a second line! After a few quick minutes of excitement Mike wanted to go back to bed - go figure! So we put the test down on the counter and went back to bed. I was too excited to sleep so I just laid there, with Mike's hand on my belly. As happy as I was though, I knew that it wasn't over just yet. I wanted to get a good strong beta number before I could breath a sigh of relief.

So we made it to Dr. Lee's office and I was greeted by all the nurses with big smiles! Have I mentioned that I LOVE all the girls at my clinic?!?! Mike and I were immediately brought back into the room they use for drawing blood. I don't have a whole lot of visible veins and everyone always seems to use the same vein on my right arm but I guess it wasn't very visible today. They said in the morning your veins can "hide" because you haven't been drinking fluids all night, which I guess makes them easier to see... Anyways, they decided to try using the one big and clearly visible vein in my left arm. I've always wondered why no one ever tries that one but I think I found out why because no blood came out of it. They were super confused and eventually ended up going back to my right arm. So I was stabbed twice! Oh well, they got the blood they needed in the end. I did tell the nurse that I had gotten a positive on the HPT and she seemed really happy about that. After they finished drawing my blood we left and the nurses promised to call us as soon as they got the results.

Mike and I went to breakfast afterwards at this awesome place called The Original Pancake House. Their food is soooooo good but sooooo fattening. I always feel like I just ate Thanksgiving dinner when I leave there. As we walked in I asked Mike if I could order whatever I wanted since I was preggo, but Mike told me he didn't want to call me preggo just yet, he wants to wait until we hear what my beta level is. So instead he invented a new title... I am PUPO+. This made me laugh so hard! Leave it to Mike to come up with a new term for my pregnant status!! Anyways, after a delicious breakfast we went home and watched T.V. and waited for the news.

Time went by sooooooo slowly! Every hour seemed to creep by and before I knew it, it was already 2:30pm. Even though I had gotten a positive on the HPT I still wasn't sure what to expect. Mike kept wanting me to call them and ask if they had gotten my results but I was too scared. I finally agreed to call them after I took another HPT just to ease my mind.  So I used the first of my Clear Blue Digital and it was so amazing to see it flash that beautiful word "Pregnant"! So I nervously called my clinic and one of the nurses answered. Once I asked her about my results she said "I just got the results in......" (I swear it was the longest pause EVER) "Congratulations, you're pregnant"! 

I can't believe how surreal this feels! I partially can't believe it, I mean I know there is a baby in there (well something resembling a guppy at this point anyways) but it's such a bazaar feeling to think there is a baby inside me and it is made up of half me and half Mike. CRAZY!!

My official Beta number was 251 and Dr. Lee said it was a really good, strong number. I go back to see Dr. Lee on Friday for my 2nd Beta test. They want to see my number double in 48 hours, so I'm hoping to be around 500. Then, depending on how my number is, I'll go back in 4 or 6 days for my 3rd and final beta. If my number looks good at that point then they will do my very first ultrasound to see how many babies I've got living in there!!

I know this post has been crazy long so thank you if you're still here. I just want to thank everyone who has been rooting me on this whole time, I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me!! And don't worry, there will be plenty of updates :)

**As a side note, Mike and I aren't going to be telling anyone until Thanksgiving when both our families will be together. So, to my dear sister that I know reads this, please don't say anything (but Mom knows too so you can talk to her)!! Thanks and I love you!