I'm A Bad Blogger

Well I've officially failed at NaBloPoMo. It's no longer just a one time blip, I'm missing a lot of blogging days. These days I am feeling like poo and can barely find the energy to get up and shower, let alone sit here and blog. I realize I'm behind in my bump updates too so I'm thinking I'll be doing a double post this weeks for week 6 and 7. 

Anyways, I thought I'd share with you all some news. We are now totally out to everyone. After telling our families on Thanksgiving, we had a BBQ with friends this weekend and told them all. They were so excited and happy for us! After that we posted our chalkboard announcement on Facebook and sat back as all the congratulations came rolling in. It was so much fun to see everyone's shock and excitement for us, especially those who weren't aware that we were even trying! Of course, now that everyone knows panic occasionally sinks in of what am I going to do if something bad happens, but I try not to think that way. And as much as I hate morning sickness and can't wait for it to go away, it is a reminder to me that the baby is in there and growing stronger everyday.

Tomorrow Mike and I are going back to Dr. Lee for our second ultrasound and will hopefully be hearing the heartbeat!!! Wish us luck and I will try my best to update more regularly!

We're Officially Out!

First I must say that I feel bad about not posting anything yesterday. I guess I failed the NaBloPoMo challenge. After all the food and family time, I was laying in bed about ready to pass out and I made the conscious decision to forgo posting anything. I really underestimated how much energy goes into being pregnant. Maybe I'm stupid for thinking pregnancy would be this awesome thing where you feel the exact same except for maybe being extra emotional. I was wrong! I cannot believe how tired I am all the time...

Anyways, we are officially out to our families!! Yesterday was so much fun... Here's how it went down:

As usual, once we all sat down at the table with our food I started the "what I'm thankful for" tradition. Once I finished I looked at my sister who was sitting on my right (Mike was on my left) and said "you're turn". I was a little nervous that she would say to make Mike go next because she normally gripes the most about doing this "cheesy" tradition. Thankfully though, she went with the flow and then everyone went around the table saying what they were thankful for until it came back to Mike. Mike started out with all the usual things to be thankful for (me - his wife, his family and friends, his health, his job etc...). The whole time he was talking I was squeezing his hand under the table so hard. Then he casually said "and I'm also thankful for July 14th, 2013 because that's when our baby is due". Almost immediately everyone reacted. Mike's mom exclaimed "Awww, you're pregnant?!". My sister started crying (which of course made me cry) and told my niece "Aunt Lissie is going to have a baby!!". I can't even begin to explain how happy it felt to finally share our news with everyone. Mike's mom later told us that she was kind of wondering if we'd share some good news during dinner but because I didn't say anything during my turn she assumed we didn't know yet. I figured as much and that was partly why I decided to have Mike announce it at the end. Haha, we were tricky!

So now all that's left is to tell our friends...

Oh yeah, I also took a picture of our table just like I said I would.

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!

I Am EXHAUSTED!

OHHHHH. EMMMMM. GEEEEEEEE!

I am so tired! I went to my mom's house early today to help her get as much done for tomorrow as possible. We did end up getting A LOT done but as a result I am now exhausted. I guess I'm still learning what my limits are now that I am pregnant and most of my body's energy is going into creating a human.


What We Accomplished Today 

• Baked the cornbread
• Made whipped honey butter
• Made cranberry-raspberry sauce
• Cubed the bread for the stuffing 
• Made a lemon/berry trifle
• Peeled all 10lbs of potatoes 
• Prepared the breakfast casserole for tomorrow

What We Have Left For Tomorrow

• Turkey (but that's my Stepdad's job...)
• Mashed Potatoes
• Green Beans
• Glazed Carrots
• Stuffing
• Biscuits
• Gravy

I think we actually made quite a dent in what needed to be done. I feel a lot more confident that we will actually be able to get the rest done tomorrow as long as we follow our timeline because most of the stuff left won't take too long to make. Mike's family will be bringing the ham and pies.

I'm just so thankful that  our secret will finally be out. I don't know how much longer I can go not talking about being pregnant, let alone hide the morning sickness or continue to make up reasons why I don't want to eat food that I've always loved eating...

Tonight Mike and I are going to go to dinner and spend the night relaxing. As much as I've been dying to tell everyone that we are pregnant, it's been kind of nice to have this secret together. Sometimes we just look at each other and smile. In a way, I'm going to miss that. So I want to enjoy tonight since it's the last night we'll have with this secret.

Pre-Thanksgiving

I don't have much for you tonight since the morning sickness (or BS all day sickness as I call it) is kicking my butt today! 

I went grocery shopping with my mom today to get everything we need for Thanksgiving (except for the turkey which we bought a week ago to start thawing). Tomorrow we will start baking and cooking the things that can be done a day ahead of time. I should mention that my family makes everything homemade, none of the pre-prepared stuff for us!

Here is what's on the menu for our Thanksgiving (some things are traditional while others aren't):

Turkey

Ham

Biscuits

Cornbread

Honey Butter

Gravy

Cranberry-Raspberry Sauce

Mashed Potatoes 

Stuffing

Creamed Corn

Glazed Carrots

Green Beans

Cheesy Scalloped Potatoes

Pumpkin Pie

Chocolate Satin Pie

Lemon Curd and Fresh Berry Trifle

I'm also making a Stuffed French Toast Casserole to eat the morning of Thanksgiving since we will be up cooking all day and probably won't eat until 5pm ish (my mom is aiming for 4pm but my family is NEVER ready on time)!

And lastly, I saw the above cute idea on Pinterest for decorating with a fall theme and decided to copy that for our dinner table on Thanksgiving. Instead of grouping them all together like in the photo, I'm going to have the wine glasses going down the length of the table. I also bought some fabric fall leaves that I'll scatter around as well. I'm hoping it looks good and will take some pictures once it's all set up.

I Saw My Baby For The First Time!

Baby Mitchell at 6weeks 2 days

It was magical! I know it's not much of a baby yet but it's truly amazing to know that little bean is inside me. Oh yeah, and we're only having 1 baby! We obviously knew that twins were an option since we agreed to put in 2 embryos  and we would have been happy with twins but I have to say I am slightly relieved to know that we are only having 1 baby. It will cost us less, be easier to adjust to, and it makes the pregnancy safer with less chances of complications.

Anyways, back to my precious Baby M. The black circle is the gestational sac which contains the amniotic fluid and the baby. You can kind of see a whitish blob in the center of the gestational sac, that is the yolk sac which provides nutrients to the baby until the placenta is fully developed. And lastly, above the yolk sac is a much smaller whitish blob that is the baby. It is currently only 2mm big but when I held my breath I could see it flickering which was it's heart beating! How unbelievable is that?? I think it's starting to sink in now that there really is a little baby in there and I am already SO in love with it.

Mike and I will go back to see Dr. Lee next Tuesday for another ultrasound. I will be 7weeks 3days and Dr. Lee thinks we will be able to hear the heart beat by then! I can't wait!

Oh No, It's Back!

Morning sickness is back with a vengeance today! I have been doing so well over the last week and thought I wasn't going to have too much of a problem with morning sickness. Then today happened! Basically since I woke up I have been feeling extremely nauseous. I didn't actually throw up (well, I did a little in my mouth) but there were several times that I thought I was going to.

I'm also pretty sure my whole family thinks I'm insane because I'm having some really weird food situations lately. First, I asked Mike to pick me up chicken nuggets from McDonald's the other night because nothing in the house looked good and nuggets sounded amazing! But as soon as I looked at the nuggets I thought I was going to puke and wanted nothing to do with them! I ended up eating Mike's cheeseburger... And today I was at my mom's house and ate a grape only to immediately spit it out into the trash can! It was nasty! Lastly, Mike made a full blown dinner tonight that I would normally love but all I wanted to eat was potato chips and onion dip! I really hope that things get a little more normal in the second trimester like they say in all those pregnancy books because this is just crazy...

Anyways, I am so excited for tomorrow because Mike and I get to see our first ultrasound!!! I looked up online what I should expect to see at 6 weeks and everything I read says that we should be able to see the gestational sac, the yolk sac and of course the fetal pole (which is what they call the baby before it is officially a fetus). We may even be able to see the heartbeat, woot woot. But what I'm the most excited for is to finally know if one or both of the embryos implanted. Are we having twins or just one baby? Mike and I are feeling like we are having one but everyone else in my family keeps saying they think we're going to have twins! Tomorrow we shall see...

Spoiled Mama, Spoiled Me!

My sampler kit of The Spoiled Mama products arrived yesterday and I am already obsessed with the stuff! I will for sure be ordering the normal sized products ASAP (even if there's nothing you can do to avoid stretch marks I'm giving it a try). Anyways, I thought I would give you guys a review of the stuff in case you're interested.

*I forgot to mention last time that The Spoiled Mama is totally organic, toxin free, certified vegan, and none of their products are tested on animals!

Tummy Butter for Stretch Marks

This stuff is amazing! First, the smell is heavenly. It reminds me of a chocolate orange (am I the only one who loves those?). Seriously, the last cocoa butter I used smelled like fake chocolate and was super greasy. But this is such a gentle scent that it doesn't bother my super nose at all and it isn't crazy greasy. Bottom line: it's a must have!

 

Bump Gloss Stretch Mark Oil
I was really surprised how much I like this stuff because I bought another stretch mark oil at the same time that I bought the other cocoa butter and it was horrible. It left me feeling oily for hours! This, on the other hand, immediately absorbs into the skin so it doesn't feel oily at all. And it is lightly scented with lavender so it is relaxing.

Extreme Mama Creme
This creme (ooh la la, fancy spelling of cream) is meant to help soothe your itchy skin as your belly starts really growing and stretching. Obviously I'm not at that point yet so I can't attest to whether or not it works for that purpose but I can say that it smells really nice and reminds me of being in a spa. I couldn't place the scent like I could with the other products but it's label says it is their #1 requested signature scent of a chamomile-neroli blend. The lotion feels really light and I can definitely see how it would be soothing.

So there's my review of The Spoiled Mama. I really recommend taking a look at their site: www.thespoiledmama.com. They also have many other products like teas that are meant to help with queasiness and skin products to help with pregnancy acne etc... 

My First Chalkboard Bump!

Well, we are nearing the end of my 5th week - today I am 5 weeks 6 days pregnant. It still seems surreal to say that. In fact, last night I went to to dinner with two of my best girlfriends for our weekly girls night out and it was the first time I've seen them in person since I told them the IVF worked (they are the only other people that know right now). Anyways, while we were out I said "I'm pregnant" a few times out loud in conversation and I was surprised at how awesome it felt to actually say it to someone other then Mike. I absolutely cannot wait until Thanksgiving to tell everyone else. Only six more days!!!

Anyways... Since this is the last day in my 5th week I've got to post my first chalkboard bump shot. Let me warn you, it's not my best photo by any means! I waited until the evening to take the photo so i'm extra bloated from dinner and the lights are making shadows... Next week I'm going to actually do my makeup and take the photo in the day before my belly gets extra flabby. Enjoy!

How Far Along: 5 weeks 6 days

Total Weight Gain: +4 pounds!! (Though I'm pretty sure this is all bloat related to IVF because there is NO WAY I've gained that much already!)

Maternity Clothes: No but I am living in leggings (again, IVF bloat)!

Stretch Marks: Nope and I'm cocoa buttering up my belly nightly to avoid them.

Sleep: Not the best. My back is killing me! I need to get the snoogle pillow ASAP!

Best Moment This Week: Getting my 3rd Beta and finally feeling like I am FOR SURE pregnant!

Miss Anything: Starting to miss alcohol. Sangria on Thanksgiving sounds DELISH!!

Movement: Nope, WAY too soon for that!

Food Cravings: Nothing specifically, more just definite ideas of what does and doesn't sound good when trying to figure out what to eat.

Anything Making You Queasy or Sick: No, thankfully the nausea hasn't been too bad.

Gender: Too soon to know.

Labor Signs: Haha, NO!
Symptoms: Queasy if I don't eat every couple hours, stuffy nose, shortness of breath, and major pregnancy brain!
Belly Button In or Out: In, where I want it to stay!
Wedding Rings On or Off: On :)
Happy or Moody Most of the Time: Happy for the most part, but I get moody easily!
Looking Forward To: Our first ultrasound on Monday. I hope to see a heart beat and find out if it's a singleton or twins!

I'm Beyond Thrilled!

Well there's no point in beating around the bush... I'm still pregnant!!!

Here is the breakdown of what my betas were:

Beta 1 (11/7): 251
Beta 2 (11/9): 618 - doubling time of 38 hours
Beta 3 (11/15): 5,780 - doubling time of 45 hours

This is great news because they want to see your number double every 48 hours and as you can see mine are doubling faster then that. I am beyond excited, I can't even tell you! I feel like it's real and this is really going to happen. 

They scheduled my first ultrasound for Monday at 10:00am and Mike is going to go with me. He is so sweet, he said he's going to try his hardest to be at every appointment, and especially every major appointment like ultrasounds etc... Time is going to go by so slowly until Monday! All I want is to see my beautiful baby (or babies) and see their little hearts fluttering away! It's funny to think that when you're going through an IVF cycle there seems to be so many days where you are just waiting waiting waiting. You would think that once you get that positive pee stick the waiting would be over, BUT NO! It seems to be just as much waiting. Waiting until the next beta, waiting until the ultrasound, waiting to be out of the danger zone for miscarriages. I guess no matter what you're going through in life it's going to be filled with waiting.

So now that I've passed all my betas with flying colors I can make my 5 week chalkboard. I was waiting for today's results just in case it wasn't good news. But i really feel comfortable now, like everything is going to work out.

I've got to run, gotta get ready because I'm going to go see the Twilight Midnight Showing tonight!!!!!

Anxious...

Tomorrow is my third and (hopefully) final Beta test and the nerves are starting to sink in. It will have been 6 days since Beta #2 so it's been a while (in IF land anyways) since I've seen Dr. Lee. I know that I had good, strong numbers but I can't help but be worried that this third time it won't be where it needs to be.  The rational part of me says to calm down because I'm still feeling as pregnant as I can be at this point, I'm still having real pregnancy symptoms, but of course I still worry.

Sometimes I worry that I jumped the gun in believing that everything is going to be OK with this pregnancy. This is obviously my first time ever being pregnant so I don't have any history of miscarriages or any reason to believe that I may miscarry. But then I constantly read about women who start bleeding and miscarry at the same point I'm at (sometimes even several weeks farther along then me). And I also read about women who go in for their first ultra sound only to find out there's no heart beat and that the baby just stopped developing several weeks back. The list goes on and on! Mike keeps telling me that everything will be OK and that I'm already being a good mom to the little baby by worrying/careing about him/her. I guess I'll just feel better once I see it's little heart beating away on our ultra sound Monday.

Anyways, I have now known for an entire week that I am pregnant and it's definitely not the beautiful glowing experience that you see in movies. Don't get me wrong, I am loving every minute of knowing there's a baby in there and it's really not all that bad. I guess I just wasn't aware of some of the symptoms...

• For example, did you know that approximately 30% of pregnant women get stuffed up noses. Guess who is in that 30%? Yup, me! I am constantly stuffed up and it's so bad at night that I have to double up my pillows or I wake up because I can't breath! 

• Also, apparently progesterone can cause shortness of breath in the first trimester as your body adjusts to all the excess amounts. Well, add the PIO shots to the already heightened amount from pregnancy and my body is pretty much overwhelmed with progesterone, causing me to huff and puff with almost any activity. 

• Thankfully my nausea isn't too bad. I feel a little queasy for the first 30 minutes after I wake up but it's not anything that makes me think I'll actually throw up. And if I let myself get too hungry then I'll feel the nausea again, so I'm just learning to eat lots of smaller meals throughout the day. I haven't had any real cravings or aversions yet, more just specific ideas of what I do and do not want when we are trying to decide what to eat.

• And speaking of eating, some of the things I used to really like just don't taste right anymore. We had Chinese food the other night and it just wasn't the same. It's not that I couldn't stomach it, it just tasted different. And recently I sent Mike to get me a dipped cone from McDonald's but when I tried to eat it the chocolate tasted funky to me, so much so that I made Mike eat off all the chocolate and then I just ate the ice cream. And I've noticed that spicy flavors are like 10 times spicier to me now!

• Lastly, I have been pretty surprised at how emotional I get over things. I've always been an emotional person and cry at sappy movies blah blah blah (I once even cried from a movie preview!!). So I thought I already had that part handled and that it wouldn't be much different when I was pregnant. WRONG! I cry at the drop of a hat now, both happy and sad reasons set me off. And it's not just happy/sad emotions that are heightened, my anger is at an all time high. The littlest thing can set me off and make me want to punch someone!

Oh the joys of pregnancy!

Things I'm Thankful For

In the spirit of Thanksgiving I want to talk about all the things I am thankful for. I originally wanted to make this a "non baby" post because I have been doing a lot of baby talk lately and I realize that a lot of my followers are still struggling with getting pregnant and I want to be sensitive to that. However, if I'm being honest there is no way I can not mention the baby. It is the biggest thing to ever happen in my life and there's no way to not talk about that. So with that in mind, I will try to keep baby talk to a minimum, at least for today...

Things I Am Thankful For

• My husband: First and foremost I am so thankful for Mike. He is quite possibly the best husband in the entire world! He loves me for me. He makes me laugh uncontrollably when I need a pick me up. He takes care of me and pampers me (especially now that I'm tired all the time). I could go on and on but I'll settle for saying that I made the best decision of my life 2 years ago when I said "I do".

• My family: No matter how many friends you may have, at the end of the day your family are the only people who will stick by you even through your worst. I am so thankful to have a great family that I know I can go to with any of my problems.

• My friends: I have amazing friends that I can be ridiculously lame with and they don't judge me. 

• Health: I am thankful that all of my friends and family are healthy, for the most part. There have been ups and downs in the past year and several health scares but we are all still alive and doing well.

• Baby M: Finally, I am more than thankful for our little baby appleseed (that's how big he/she is this week). Mike and I went through so much to get pregnant with this little baby that I will continue to be thankful for him/her every day for the rest of my life!

Chalkboard Time!

Hooray for our first chalkboard post!! I had so much fun doing this and I absolutely LOVED how it turned out! Before I could draw though, I had to trek all over town to find chalk. Everywhere I went had such a small selection of chalk and an even smaller selection of colored chalk. I specifically wanted Crayola brand because I read that it is the most vibrant and brightest chalk and since I'm going to be taking photos of the chalkboard I need it to stand out. I finally found a package at Walmart that had a bunch of colors so I grabbed it and excitedly headed home to get started.

Thanksgiving cannot come soon enough. Only 10 more days... I'm actually losing my mind keeping this secret. It's like I want to shout from the rooftops and tell any and everyone that I'm pregnant!!! I think it also makes it feel less real, like it's not happening because everyone else is going about their normal life around me and all I want to do is talk about being pregnant. 

So here's the plan for how we're gong to tell everyone:

Immediate Family
Thanksgiving is the one holiday that both of our families do together (which is a good thing because in past years I felt like my stomach was going to rip down the middle from all the food). Every year I force everyone to say what they are thankful for once we sit down at the table. I say force because my family gripes about it and says it's so cheesy. Be that as it may, I like doing it and think it's a nice tradition. So we are planning on doing the whole "I'm thankful for blah blah blah" and then say something along the lines of "and I'm also thankful for the newest little member of the family that will be here in July"! I know it's been done before and it's not a new idea but I have actually always thought this was a really cute way to tell family and it just so happens to be around the time we found out I'm pregnant so I think it's fate.

My Dad
My dad lives in Pennsylvania so I obviously won't get to tell him in person, but I don't want to just call him up and blurt it out. I'm thinking of overnighting him a picture frame that has a space for two photos. I'll put the chalkboard announcement in one slot and our first ultrasound in the other slot. I'll call him ahead of time and tell him that I am sending him something but that he can't open it until he calls me. 

Close Friends
A while back we bought one of those Murder/Mystery Dinner Party things but just haven't gotten around to doing it. Mike and I were thinking about taking charge of everything and getting it set up. Then we will reveal to everyone at some point in the night. I'm not exactly sure how we'll tell everyone but I will make it fit into the story line. Maybe at some point I'll refuse a drink and declare that I can't have any because I am pregnant, and then wait to see if anyone catches on.

Everyone Else
Once all out immediate family and friends know we will post the chalkboard announcement on our Facebook and watch the comments flood in.

Now if only it could be Thanksgiving!!

I'm Having A Girl...

Or so says a baby magazine I was reading last night! It's bazaar that I was even reading this magazine in the first place. It was addressed to my husband with our address on it. I asked him if he had subscribed to any magazines (specifically baby ones) recently and he had no clue where it came form or how they got his name. Then as I was reading it, there was a section that said something along the lines of "You are now 4 months pregnant" and went on to talk about everything that would be going on with the baby at that stage. Since I'm obviously not 4 months along I looked for the other months but there wasn't anything else that talked about different months anywhere. It was as if the magazine was going off of a due date that the subscriber had provided. Like I said, BAZAAR! Anyways, according to the magazine, women who experience forgetfulness, or pregnancy brain as they called it, are more likely to have a baby girl! Of course I immediately rubbed this is Mike's face because not only do I want a girl (he wants a boy) but we have been joking about how forgetful I have been lately. I will literally walk into a room and forget why I was just heading there. Or I will open my mouth to say something and can't for the life of me recall what it was. I forget words, and stumble in my speech. It's the weirdest thing because I've never been that way before!

For the last few nights I've been putting Palmer's Cocoa Butter Lotion on my belly, hips, thighs, and breasts to hopefully combat stretch marks before they begin. I know that there are a lot of people that say stretch marks are genetic and there's nothing you can do to stop them but I'm going to give it a try just in case. Anyways, I'm not really liking the smell of this stuff. It kind of smells like chocolate (which makes sense since it's cocoa) but my nose isn't diggin' it. So after a lot of research I decided to order The Spoiled Mama's products.

I got their sampler gift set so I can try them out without breaking the bank, because they are a bit on the costly side. But every review I have read said it is money well spent and that at the very least they make you feel pampered and relaxed. The sampler comes with their three best selling products: Tummy Butter For Stretch Marks (their basic tummy butter), Bump Gloss Stretch Mark Oil (they say you should apply this after you get out of the shower), and Extreme Mama Creme (this is supposed to soothe your itchy belly as it is expanding). And as a bonus, it comes with a 10% off coupon for future purchases. I'll let you all know what I think of it once it arrives.

Mike and I finished our chalk board today! I'm very happy with how it turned out and can't wait to use it! Now all I have to do is buy some chalk tomorrow and I'll be all set...

Lastly, I will leave you with some interesting facts about how Baby M is doing:

Baby's Now The Size Of An Appleseed
Your embryo is now measurable -- though at week five, it's a wee .13 inches -- and she's gearing up for much more growth. In fact, in the next week, she'll almost double in size. Grow baby grow! Though the embryo doesn't look like much more than a tadpole right now, at five weeks she's already starting to form major organs (heart, stomach, liver, kidney) and systems (digestive, circulatory, nervous).

Check Out My Belly!

Oh man, I can't believe how tired I was last night! As I guessed I think I only ended up reading for a few minutes before I fell asleep...At 9:30pm!! And I didn't wake up until 10:00am; that's 12.5 hours of sleep! I guess I'm in for a different life style now that I'm pregnant.

I will officially be starting my weekly baby bump pictures next week (when I will be 5 weeks pregnant - OHHHH EMM GEEEEE!!) but I thought I'd share with you a quick pic of me and my 4 week bump as it is today. And yes, I realize that it's insane to even be showing at this point. It's all the Progesterone and Estrogen shots I'm taking from the FET (which I'm going to have to continue taking until I'm 10 weeks pregnant). In the infertility world its known as the IVF bloat. Never the less, it's proof to me that there's a little poppyseed in there and I just love rubbing my belly!!

Me and my 4 week belly/bloat!!

Now when I say I will be starting my official bump posts next week I mean I will be starting my chalk board photos. I'm pretty sure most of the world has seen these type of photos on Pinterest:

This is from one of my favorite blogs, Little Baby Garvin.

When I first saw this I knew I wanted to do the same thing when I got pregnant. It's such a cute way to showcase your ever growing belly while also displaying some of the facts of the baby. So Mike and I started our chalk board today. We found an old mirror in his parents garage that looked like it would be the perfect size. We took the wooden backing off and took out the mirror. The original frame was a really old looking wood so I decided to paint it white to spruce it up a bit. Then we primed the wood backing, followed by a layer of chalk board paint (We decided to go with a dark grey but it comes in black as well). I still have to paint another layer (maybe two) of the chalk board paint tomorrow but once it's done we will put the backing back into the frame and voila, our very own personalized chalk board! Here are some photos of everything so far.

 An after shot of the frame. Excuse the mess behind it, it's drying in the garage.

The wood backing with the first layer of chalk board paint.

As for pregnancy symptoms I'm finding that I am getting hungry every couple of hours. I'm also not able to eat a whole lot before feeling full, and when I feel full it's super uncomfortable! Plus, snacking frequently seems to be making me feel better as far as the nausea goes. It also has been keeping me from crashing due to exhaustion. But nothing I do is changing the fact that I am absolutely pooped by the time 9:00pm rolls around. I think I'm going to have to start reading What To Expect more throughout the day because I'm not getting through very much at night before passing out!

Speaking of passing out, good night!

I'm Still Pregnant!

The title of this post pretty much sums today up...

I went in to Dr. Lee's office today to have my blood drawn for a second Beta test. RE's will generally do 3 tests several days apart and they are looking for your numbers to keep steadily rising (they should double approximately every 48 hours). This is important because it is a sign that the pregnancy is progressing and will actually be a viable pregnancy. Since my first Beta was 251, I was hoping to see my number from today be around 500. The nurse finally called around 4:00pm and told me that not only did my number double, it more then doubled! My 2nd Beta came in at 618, woohoo!!! So as of today, I am still pregnant! This is a really good sign and I feel like I can breathe a little easier now. I know there is always a chance that something might still happen, but I am going to relax and believe that this is it and I will be going home from the hospital with this baby (or babies). The nurse scheduled my third and final Beta for 6 days from now, Thursday November 15th. As long as everything looks good that day we will then schedule our first ultrasound for the following Monday, November 19th (which also happens to be one of my sisters' birthday). So basically Mike and I will get to see how many little Mitchell's are cooking in there in 10 days!!

I had other things I wanted to talk about tonight but will have to put them off until tomorrow because I am just too tired! I guess I'm learning that I need to take advantage of my morning energy because I'm starting to feel really drained by night time and am going to bed early!! 

This little mama is off to rub some cocoa butter on her belly (getting a head start on those nasty stretch marks) and then read some What To Expect while laying in bed. I'll probably fall asleep with the book on my chest in less then 10 minutes...

Morning Sickness...More Like All Day Sickness!

First and foremost a GIANT thank you to everyone that has reached out and congratulated me since getting our good news yesterday!! Mike and I are beyond thrilled and just so elated! It's so hard not to tell everyone I see but I'm determined to keep it a secret until Thanksgiving. Only 14 days to go!

It seems that my body has decided to really let me know that I am, in fact, pregnant. Today I think I've discovered what morning sickness is all about. Who came up with that name? I'd like to give them a piece of my mind for false advertisement because it isn't just in the morning. It's ALL DAY! Thankfully it isn't the "drop everything and run to the toilet" kind of nausea. Instead it's more like the that feeling you get when you are really hungry and you can literally feel how empty your stomach is, to the point where you feel sick. The thing is I pretty much feel that way regardless of if I have eaten or not. I guess I'm going to have to read up on eating tips for curbing morning sickness. Feel free to pass on any advice if you have some. Besides that I still feel the same as I was feeling before finding out I'm pregnant. No other symptoms yet...

Yesterday after we got the good news Mike and I went out to run a few errands. One of the places we went to was Barnes and Noble. I bought What To Expect When You're Expecting and a pregnancy journal.  The journal is really cool (and of course I got the most expensive one so Mike griped about it for a few minutes) and has a bunch of pages with questions to fill out and a space for a corresponding picture that goes along with the theme of that page. It also came with a bunch of scrapbook like frames for the pictures and a ton of stickers that I can put on the pages that say things like "I'm finally showing", "bought maternity clothes for the first time" and "painted the nursery" with a blank space to write in the date. Essentially it's like a baby book but for your pregnancy; I can't wait to fill it out!!

Tomorrow I am going to Dr. Lee's for my 2nd Beta test. Please keep your fingers (and toes) crossed for me that my number has doubled! In the meantime, I will leave you with an update on how Baby M is doing: 

Baby's Now The Size Of A Poppyseed

Now safe in your womb, the ball of cells (blastocyst) is splitting into the embryo (your future child) and placenta. Outside this microscopic speck, the amniotic sac and fluid are forming into protective cushioning. in addition to the miracle of life, you can also welcome these beautiful first gifts of motherhood: bloating, cramping, and maniacal mood swings.

And The Results Are...

Let me start out this post by saying that I have taken quite a few pregnancy tests in my life (oddly enough I think I took more BEFORE Mike and I were married!) and always felt sick to my stomach. It's humorous to look back and think how badly I wanted it to be negative. I would pray and promise God that I would start going to church again, if only I could pretty pretty please not be pregnant this time. And now for the last 2 years it has been the total opposite. I still feel sick to my stomach but with excitement and fingers crossed that I will be pregnant. I even still pray to God to pretty pretty please let there be two lines on the test! But the absolute weirdest part to this all is that since we have been knowingly dealing with infertility, I haven't taken a single pregnancy test. As I've mentioned in my blog before I have relied on the blood work beta tests because I just couldn't deal with seeing anymore negatives.

That all changed today...

Mike and I (OK, maybe just I) made the decision to test this morning before going in for my official beta test. As you all know from previous posts I really struggled with this decision. Ultimately, though, I decided that I wanted to be able to prepare myself for what is truly one of the worst phone calls ever! I wanted to be able to tell the nurses that I didn't have high hopes etc... So before going to bed last night I put a Crinone Gel packet on the bathroom counter (as is my usual routine so that I don't forget to use it first thing in the morning) as well as my last First Response Early Response test.

**As a side note, I also have several Clear Blue Digital tests (ya know, the kind that actually say "Pregnant" instead of just showing you two lines) but I have read that they aren't as sensitive in picking up early levels of HCG. So I decided to use the last Early Response test and then if it AND the beta came back positive I would use the Clear Blue test so I that I could pretty confidently see the word pregnant.

We all know that I am still on those darn PIO shots which have been making me crazy thirsty and then I end up waking up to pee a million times in the night as a result of all the water I drink all day long. Surprisingly I didn't wake up once in the night. But I did finally wake up at 5:20am and was bursting to pee! Mike and I had originally decided to set our alarm to go off at 6:30am in order to get to Dr. Lee's office in time for our appointment so I knew that I couldn't go pee at this point unless I took the test. Knowing how cranky Mike gets if you wake him up early (and if I'm being honest, out of plain terror of getting a negative result) I decided to try to hold it and go back to sleep. That obviously wasn't going to happen so I just laid there until about 5:50am at which point I woke up Mike and told him my dilemma. He told me that I should just do it already. So I got up, turned on the light, and peed on a stick for the first time in what feels like forever! I then capped the test, turned it upside down, set it on my side table and crawled back in bed with Mike. We literally laid there and held each other for a few minutes while we waited to see the results. After a couple minutes I said to Mike "No matter how it turns out we're going to be OK, right?". He gave me a kiss and said "Absolutely". So with trembling hands I sat up and looked at the test.

AND I SAW TWO LINES!!

I jumped out of bed and ran into the bathroom to see in better light. The second line was faint but it was definitely there. I was shaking and that's when I realized that I hadn't told Mike what the result was. He was looking at me anxiously and I said "I think it's positive, I think I'm pregnant"! He got out of bed and came to look at the test and agreed with me, there most definitely was a second line! After a few quick minutes of excitement Mike wanted to go back to bed - go figure! So we put the test down on the counter and went back to bed. I was too excited to sleep so I just laid there, with Mike's hand on my belly. As happy as I was though, I knew that it wasn't over just yet. I wanted to get a good strong beta number before I could breath a sigh of relief.

So we made it to Dr. Lee's office and I was greeted by all the nurses with big smiles! Have I mentioned that I LOVE all the girls at my clinic?!?! Mike and I were immediately brought back into the room they use for drawing blood. I don't have a whole lot of visible veins and everyone always seems to use the same vein on my right arm but I guess it wasn't very visible today. They said in the morning your veins can "hide" because you haven't been drinking fluids all night, which I guess makes them easier to see... Anyways, they decided to try using the one big and clearly visible vein in my left arm. I've always wondered why no one ever tries that one but I think I found out why because no blood came out of it. They were super confused and eventually ended up going back to my right arm. So I was stabbed twice! Oh well, they got the blood they needed in the end. I did tell the nurse that I had gotten a positive on the HPT and she seemed really happy about that. After they finished drawing my blood we left and the nurses promised to call us as soon as they got the results.

Mike and I went to breakfast afterwards at this awesome place called The Original Pancake House. Their food is soooooo good but sooooo fattening. I always feel like I just ate Thanksgiving dinner when I leave there. As we walked in I asked Mike if I could order whatever I wanted since I was preggo, but Mike told me he didn't want to call me preggo just yet, he wants to wait until we hear what my beta level is. So instead he invented a new title... I am PUPO+. This made me laugh so hard! Leave it to Mike to come up with a new term for my pregnant status!! Anyways, after a delicious breakfast we went home and watched T.V. and waited for the news.

Time went by sooooooo slowly! Every hour seemed to creep by and before I knew it, it was already 2:30pm. Even though I had gotten a positive on the HPT I still wasn't sure what to expect. Mike kept wanting me to call them and ask if they had gotten my results but I was too scared. I finally agreed to call them after I took another HPT just to ease my mind.  So I used the first of my Clear Blue Digital and it was so amazing to see it flash that beautiful word "Pregnant"! So I nervously called my clinic and one of the nurses answered. Once I asked her about my results she said "I just got the results in......" (I swear it was the longest pause EVER) "Congratulations, you're pregnant"! 

I can't believe how surreal this feels! I partially can't believe it, I mean I know there is a baby in there (well something resembling a guppy at this point anyways) but it's such a bazaar feeling to think there is a baby inside me and it is made up of half me and half Mike. CRAZY!!

My official Beta number was 251 and Dr. Lee said it was a really good, strong number. I go back to see Dr. Lee on Friday for my 2nd Beta test. They want to see my number double in 48 hours, so I'm hoping to be around 500. Then, depending on how my number is, I'll go back in 4 or 6 days for my 3rd and final beta. If my number looks good at that point then they will do my very first ultrasound to see how many babies I've got living in there!!

I know this post has been crazy long so thank you if you're still here. I just want to thank everyone who has been rooting me on this whole time, I can't begin to tell you how much it means to me!! And don't worry, there will be plenty of updates :)

**As a side note, Mike and I aren't going to be telling anyone until Thanksgiving when both our families will be together. So, to my dear sister that I know reads this, please don't say anything (but Mom knows too so you can talk to her)!! Thanks and I love you!

I'm A Ball Of Nerves!

Well folks, tomorrow is beta day! I am so nervous, I swear I'm not going to get a wink of sleep tonight!!

So here is the rundown for what is going to happen tomorrow:

Mike and I have to be at our clinic at 7:30am for the blood work. I picked the earliest appointment so that I could hopefully get my results as soon as possible! I am going to POAS prior to leaving and I know I am going to feel sick to my stomach while waiting for the results but ultimately I need to have some sort of feeling for what to expect with my beta. After the blood work we will go to our favorite pancake house for breakfast and then I think we are going to come home and relax (if that's even possible) until we get the news. Of course it will be an easier wait if the morning pee stick is positive... So tomorrow night we will either be out for dinner celebrating or taking it easy at home recovering.

We've also decided not to tell our families about the beta being tomorrow. Just like last time, I want to have time to absorb everything if it is the worst case scenario. And if it is good news, I want time to tell everyone in a fun way.

I will definitely be letting you all know what the results are either way.

In non infertility news, I did my civic duty today and voted. As MTV would say, I rocked the vote! Does anyone else remember the Rock The Vote campaign that they used to do? I'm not sure what made me think of that... Anyways, I'm going to spend tonight watching the voting results, trying to not think about tomorrow.

Wish me all the luck you have please!

Today Is A Better Day

It's truly amazing what sleep can do for your outlook on things...

I felt much better this morning, both physically and mentally. It probably helped that Mike decided to surprise me and play hooky from work today to spend time with me. He always knows how to cheer me up!! We went out to IHOP for breakfast this morning which just made my day because I am a morning person and LOVE going out for breakfast but Mike likes to sleep in so it's a rarity in our house. I couldn't make up my mind if I wanted pancakes or crepes so I got the chocolate chip pancakes and Mike got strawberry crepes and we shared! Have I mentioned that I'm an iced coffee addict? I was so bummed when I saw that IHOP has vanilla iced coffee because I haven't had any in several weeks. Mike has been pretty militant about me not having caffeine since it's not recommended during the whole stimming phase and of course when you're pregnant. Well, imagine my surprise when Mike drove me to Starbucks after breakfast for a "treat"! He said that one coffee can't hurt anything. Seriously, I married the best man ever! We've kind of just laid around and relaxed all day since then but are going to go out for dinner and then go see a movie. I'm not sure what we're going to see but it's been so long since we've gone out on a date that I'm just happy to be going out.

I'm feeling a lot better about things as far as the possible pregnancy goes. Yesterday I really felt like crap, which I guess eased my mind about all my symptoms disappearing. The only thing that still worries me is the cramping I've been having. I'm nervous that it's AF coming. But then I tell myself to calm down because I've never really gotten cramps leading up to AF. My lower back will ache a little, but definitely no lower uterine cramps which is what I've been feeling for a couple days. They aren't crazy strong and they come and go. It also makes me feel better to know that last cycle it took about 6 days after stopping the progesterone shots for AF to come because most people won't get a period while taking those shots. I keep telling myself this to reassure me that these cramps can't possibly be AF related since I'm still taking my shots. I'm hoping this is the "normal" cramping that my RE said I may experience. By the end of pregnancy your uterus is 10 time bigger then it's original size so apparently it's totally normal to feel cramps early in pregnancy as it stretches in preparation. Fingers crossed that's what I'm feeling!

I think I've pretty much made up my mind that I will POAS Wednesday morning before we go in for the beta test. This way I will be some what prepared if it is negative. I'm sure I'll still be sad but I think it will allow me enough time to let it sink in before the nurse calls with my beta results. If she confirms that it's a BFN I will have been expecting it already. And if by some miracle she says I'm pregnant I'll be pleasantly surprised. Of course Mike keeps on telling me that I'm assuming the worst and should expect the HPT to be positive. But that's Mike for ya', always the optimistic. I know he was devastated with our BFN last cycle and I don't want to take away from his grief but I don't think there's any way a man can totally understand what it feels like to get that horrible news. After all, they didn't walk around for two weeks thinking about the baby that could be in them, thinking about the embryos that were put in them. If they could truly understand what it was like to feel that hopeful only to be crushed with the devastating news of a BFN, I think they would better understand why we expect to see a negative. It's not that we are being negative. We're just guarding our hearts from that kind of hurt again.

So that's all for today. Tomorrow is voting day! Don't worry, I'm not going to get all political on you but I am a firm believer in voting whatever your beliefs may be. If you don't vote then you can't complain about the results...