I felt much better this morning, both physically and mentally. It probably helped that Mike decided to surprise me and play hooky from work today to spend time with me. He always knows how to cheer me up!! We went out to IHOP for breakfast this morning which just made my day because I am a morning person and LOVE going out for breakfast but Mike likes to sleep in so it's a rarity in our house. I couldn't make up my mind if I wanted pancakes or crepes so I got the chocolate chip pancakes and Mike got strawberry crepes and we shared! Have I mentioned that I'm an iced coffee addict? I was so bummed when I saw that IHOP has vanilla iced coffee because I haven't had any in several weeks. Mike has been pretty militant about me not having caffeine since it's not recommended during the whole stimming phase and of course when you're pregnant. Well, imagine my surprise when Mike drove me to Starbucks after breakfast for a "treat"! He said that one coffee can't hurt anything. Seriously, I married the best man ever! We've kind of just laid around and relaxed all day since then but are going to go out for dinner and then go see a movie. I'm not sure what we're going to see but it's been so long since we've gone out on a date that I'm just happy to be going out.
I'm feeling a lot better about things as far as the possible pregnancy goes. Yesterday I really felt like crap, which I guess eased my mind about all my symptoms disappearing. The only thing that still worries me is the cramping I've been having. I'm nervous that it's AF coming. But then I tell myself to calm down because I've never really gotten cramps leading up to AF. My lower back will ache a little, but definitely no lower uterine cramps which is what I've been feeling for a couple days. They aren't crazy strong and they come and go. It also makes me feel better to know that last cycle it took about 6 days after stopping the progesterone shots for AF to come because most people won't get a period while taking those shots. I keep telling myself this to reassure me that these cramps can't possibly be AF related since I'm still taking my shots. I'm hoping this is the "normal" cramping that my RE said I may experience. By the end of pregnancy your uterus is 10 time bigger then it's original size so apparently it's totally normal to feel cramps early in pregnancy as it stretches in preparation. Fingers crossed that's what I'm feeling!
I think I've pretty much made up my mind that I will POAS Wednesday morning before we go in for the beta test. This way I will be some what prepared if it is negative. I'm sure I'll still be sad but I think it will allow me enough time to let it sink in before the nurse calls with my beta results. If she confirms that it's a BFN I will have been expecting it already. And if by some miracle she says I'm pregnant I'll be pleasantly surprised. Of course Mike keeps on telling me that I'm assuming the worst and should expect the HPT to be positive. But that's Mike for ya', always the optimistic. I know he was devastated with our BFN last cycle and I don't want to take away from his grief but I don't think there's any way a man can totally understand what it feels like to get that horrible news. After all, they didn't walk around for two weeks thinking about the baby that could be in them, thinking about the embryos that were put in them. If they could truly understand what it was like to feel that hopeful only to be crushed with the devastating news of a BFN, I think they would better understand why we expect to see a negative. It's not that we are being negative. We're just guarding our hearts from that kind of hurt again.
So that's all for today. Tomorrow is voting day! Don't worry, I'm not going to get all political on you but I am a firm believer in voting whatever your beliefs may be. If you don't vote then you can't complain about the results...